Cheap entertainment

Over 6 months later this one’s done and I’m moving on to the next. A little Time, Love and Tenderness has been started. No paper preview because Dr. Ink does free hand like a boss!

My next project drawn and soon to be tattooed by artist, Nathan Gerger. I can’t wait!

Dear N’Sync Diary,

I love my mother dearly. I really do. I do my very best every day to make both my parents proud of me. Trust me, I’ve done things I can count on my fingers and toes they wouldn’t be proud of. But they don’t always see my fingers and toes (especially in the mitten and boots seasons) so they don’t need to know about those not so great decisions I’ve made that are painted in my nails. Figuratively, not literally. Actually, right now my nails are a dark blue which, ironically, is how I’m feeling right now. Whoosh, enough with the Deep Thoughts and fingers and toes and nails and on with the story..sheesh! Here goes:

Friday we went on a family outting to a baseball game. My parents had just gotten back from a few days away on an antique shopping, or “treasure hunting” trip. Mom had told me that had gotten 5 things for me. I had no idea what she was talking about or what I even was in need of. My first thought was wine glasses. I always need those. She then said that they were had sparkle to them. My second thought was gangster gobblets used to drink wine out of…of course. This was my guess to her. My guess was wrong. Her third clue was, “something you showed me awhile ago.” This is that something I showed her awhile ago:

It’s a brooch wedding bouquet. Yes, it’s beautiful but do you think I’m even close to collecting brooches or thinking about flowers? Or even colors for that matter? I don’t even know what color of PERSON I’m going to marry. Lately, I have done everything I can possibly think of to try and distract myself from the fact that yes, I’m almost 30 and still single. Breath. Breath. I know it’s hard to wrap your head around that concept. I’ve started running every morning at 5am. I’m doing as much as I can in my work to keep my mind occupied. I’ve started this card idea I’ve always been playing with. I’m really doing everything to try and not fall under the Midwest Love Spell: Married at 19, kids at 23, most likely divorce by 30. I know that’s not the case for some but over the past two years especially, I’ve lost a lot of what little faith I ever had in love. Having my mom starting to collect things for a hypothetical wedding, more importantly, a lasting marriage, is more discouraging than encouraging. So, I guess if anyone has any brooches they’re not using you can give them to my mom because she’s started a collection for a wedding that’s nowhere to be found in the near future.

Oh, she’s also been looking at swing sets for grand kids.

I love you, Mom. I’m glad you haven’t lost hope. You know you have a single son too, right? :)

Stay tuned: I’m going to start making and selling cards with my own phrases on them. Bust out your billfolds and start stickin’ on the stamps! I’ll keep you posted.

Dear N’Sync Diary,

I gotta say right now is probably not the  best time to write but it’s also the only time to write. I’ve been in quite a slump lately and I don’t know why. I’ve been feeling very “bleh”…

Yesterday morning Lindsey, Amber and I did the Copper Creek Triathlon. Lindsey swam with no problem. Amber biked with no problem. I ran. Notice I didn’t say “no problem”. It was only a 3 mile run and the whole time I was so discouraged by being passed by people that had already swam and biked. It was when I was passed by a pregnant lady who had done the swimming portion that I was about to break down. Everyone says I should be proud of myself for even doing it and completing it. The whole time I was running and getting passed by athletes far better than me, I kept trying to tell myself these encouraging words. That I’m doing more than most of my friends who are probably hung over in bed. When I saw the finish line the only thing I could find reassuring was hearing them announce my name crossing the finish line. It wasn’t until I crossed the finish line when I hear them say, “Amber Gillotti!!”. It made me feel terrible. And that’s when I had my asthma attack. I couldn’t breathe for at least 20 minutes. I couldn’t catch my breath. I went to the First Aid station/Ambulance and asked for an inhaler. By asked I mean went up struggling to breathe and gave the “do you have an inhaler” sign language sign by putting my hand up to my mouth and miming the inhaler. The “medic” relaxing on the bumper of the Ambulance said, “sorry, man, we don’t have any inhalers”. This was when I tried my hardest not to start crying because I knew it would only make things worse. I tried taking deep breaths but couldn’t catch my breath. When Amber and Lindsey finally came from the finish line I told them we needed to go immediately so I could get my inhaler and that I couldn’t breahe. Even more unfortunately, the guy looking over the transition area wasn’t letting anyone in until all the runners were in. Which meant even if I HAD my inhaler I wasn’t able to get it. At this point it was close to 15 to 20 minutes of not being able to breathe. I finally found a shady spot and sat down and tried to calm down and catch my breath. It was also at this point that both of my arms went numb and I was lightheaded and saying nonsensical things like, “let’s pinball our way through the breakfast pizza to the people”. I eventually caught my breath and came out of my asthma heat attack and everything was fine. I still, a day later, feel completely out of my element and intimidated by the intensity of that race. It made me feel worse about myself rather than what it was supposed to do.

To add to this slump, tonight I was planning on going to Girl Talk with two of my girlfriends. One of them decided she wasn’t able to go because she was too busy with work. Bummer but understandable. She couldn’t go so I gave her ticket to my friend who was planning on going with both of us. Unfortunately, she had gotten back from vacation about an hour before the concert. She tried to go but decided she wasn’t in the mood for people, loud music, and everything else that a concert has to offer. She left after the first opener. So, there I was. Alone in a sea of hipsters and acid trippers ready to melt their faces off by a DJ mashing up songs. This was when Erick sent me a text wishing me joy and fun at the concert. I told him I was left by myself at the show and was about ready to cry. He said the one thing that made me feel better. That was, “Well, either go home or stay and make the best of it and make friends and dance your face off.” So that’s what I did. I went to the bar, got a beer and looked for a friendly face or an opening to a conversation. Just then two “tee shirt, jeans and worn out hat” type of guys stood a few feet in front of me. In front of them a large man in a flannel stood directly in front of them. The shorter of the two “tee shirt guys” threw up his hands like “really??” This was my opening. I leaned forward between them and said, “that sucks!” The shorter guy leaned back and said, “right? the downfalls of being shorter at a concert.” Then I struck up a conversation with both of them and spent the rest of the concert with them talking about the crowd and making little comments about people in our area. By the end of the night I went old school and wrote my phone number down on a napkin and gave it to the guy I stood next to the whole night and actually had a blast with. Only in Iowa can this happen? Only can I make friends this easily? Even when I’m near tears because I was left at a concert to enjoy it with no one I know? It was a confidence builder and a test of that confidence. Girl Talk has always had a special spot in my heart because it always reminds me of living in Denver and I moved back to Des Moines a week before going to the concert with my Denver friends. Now he has a whole new special place in my heart because that crazy DJ was the first concert I’ve been to knowing no one at all. Maybe it was because I didn’t know anyone there and didn’t care what I looked like dancing like a fool and screaming the words to the song and sweating my ass off that it was the BEST of the three Girl Talk shows I have seen. I was happy that I made friends with those strangers to at least not feel completely alone.

I’m still in a slump but have a few days off next week so maybe I can find myself again while I’m on a “Lonely Lindsay” vacation.

Love,

Linds

I was driving to work not thinking about work but rather, “I wonder if there’s going to be a baby boom because of this stupid 50 Shades of Gray book.”

I’ve tried so very hard to avoid getting sun fried this spring and summer. So much so that I’m on my third bottle of SPF 110. Yes, 110. Didn’t think it was possible? Niether did I but it is and it works. It works so well that you can tell EXACTLY where I DIDN’T put sunscreen. I try my hardest to protect the beautiful tattoos that Nathan has done and this is the first burn on my back I’ve gotten since it was finished last spring. Here is a picture from today where you can see exactly where I sprayed sun screen. Take specific note on my right shoulder where there is a nice spray line where I clearly sprayed but it didn’t cover as much as I wanted it to. You might not be able to see on the backs of my knees but they’re a beautiful cherry red. Fortunately, you cannot see the pine cone up my butt because it looks like I gave myself a wedgie. I also thought I’d entertain you with a few “Ghosts of Sunburn’s Past”. Classic Simmerman. Happy Day Camping and having a sunny summer job. Yay cancer!!

   Happy Hubbard Days 2010 (?)

Two hours in the sun spring of 2011 when Staci Fjelland and I went on a beer run. Beer run: Run 2 miles to Limey’s for a beer on the patio. Run to Cattoor’s for a shot and a beer. Run back to their house.

You get this when you wear this:

Stay safe in the summer sun and wear that SPF!

Love you all,

Lindsay

Because it’s been five months since I put anything on this blog I’ve decided I really am going to do a better job of writing all kinds of different stuff. Personal stuff. Funny stuff. Stuff I probably shouldn’t write about to the world but maybe sometimes it’s better that way? I guess maybe we can thank Facebook for not having any sort of privacy or secretly wanting to share everything with everyone. Anyway, here we go again…writing.

I put as my status to throw words at me and I would come up with something. Here are the words that were given to me:

good, shenanigans, wind, runs, plants, up, the, hill, and, all, the, while, their, feet, stand, still, family.

Here’s what I came up with:

I’m scared to see where the wind will take you. I know you’ll be good even though it seems like it’s an up hill battle. I know it’s hard but you’ll land on your feet and still stand tall. Their love, my love for you grows like spring plants; bigger and brighter after each year. While you’re gone, we’ll be thinking of the shenanigans that runs through the memory of you. You are family to so many and we all love you.

If I can find a picture or video of Christina Ricci wearing Z.Cavaricci Jeans I will be as happy as I was when I found Kenny Roger’s Western Wear.